Self-Esteem Therapy
Online in West Los Angeles & Across CA & FL
Second guess yourself less and find a confidence that actually lasts.
It feels like you can never be happy with yourself.
You’re either criticizing something you did in the past or stressing about the future. There’s always something that should be better - how you look, the quality of your work, the way you interact with people.
You can’t figure out how to just be proud of yourself for something.
There’s also this deep, underlying feeling of heaviness - sadness, tiredness, even hopelessness. It stays below the surface but comes out when you have a moment alone, usually at night.
Growing up, it felt like there was something different about you, a difference that wasn’t good. The criticism may have been direct or subtle, coming from family members, school bullies, or even just from yourself, but the message was consistent and clear: do more, do better, stop messing up.
No matter what you do, your mind finds some reason you’re doing it wrong.
Now, so much of your energy goes towards criticizing yourself and getting stuck in your head with stressful thoughts.
By the end of the day, you’re drained in a way that sleep can’t fix.
Maybe you notice:
You struggle to take action on your own since you rely on other people’s reactions and judgments to know if something is the “right” call
You reach for distractions like your phone or TV because distraction feels easier than sitting with your thoughts
You get stuck in mental loops of criticizing yourself or others and don’t know how to make it stop
You can usually figure things out on your own, but this one’s been harder, which is super frustrating. But you know you can’t live like this forever.
how i can help
Self-esteem therapy teaches you how to talk to yourself with the same kindness you already show everyone else.
The goal isn’t to become perfect.
It’s to build a better relationship with yourself that’s more compassionate, accepting of mistakes, and supportive.
Over time, things will start to shift.
You won’t feel as affected by other people’s opinions - because your self esteem will come from a stable place inside you.
You won’t see productivity or accomplishment as necessary to feeling good enough.
Anxiety and “what if” thoughts won’t be as overwhelming - you’ll know how to notice them and stop the spirals earlier.
You’ll learn how to show up authentically in relationships - instead of putting on a mask and being the “bubbly” one to be liked, even when you don’t feel like it.
You’ll become less self critical - and more able to accept compliments.
And importantly, you’ll stop believing you’re too much - because, you aren’t, and never have been.
You don’t want to feel overwhelmed by your self-critical thoughts all the time - and the good news is, when you’re not doing it alone, it actually gets so much easier.
We’re not following a one-size-fits all plan. I pull from a variety of approaches - like parts work (IFS), somatic therapy, mindfulness, looking at your past to understand your present - but what matters most is figuring out the unique therapy formula that will actually work for you.
We start by getting clear on what’s been the hardest to change, what you want to be different, and why it’s important to you.
I ask questions and take time to really get to know you - what you’ve already tried, what’s helped, and what hasn’t. From there, we experiment with tools and strategies to see what actually works for your nervous system and what doesn’t (deep breathing, visualizing, cozy blankets and sipping hot tea - we’ll try it all).
A lot of our work might look like:
Unpacking deeper beliefs - like where did you learn to criticize yourself before anyone could?
Learning how to handle real life scary situations like making a mistake or getting feedback without turning on yourself
Practicing staying grounded when anxiety spikes instead of spiraling or shutting down
Building a more supportive inner voice you can actually trust and rely on
And this isn’t about making huge, overwhelming changes all at once. It’s about making small, realistic shifts you can actually follow through on and building from there.
Therapy for self-esteem and confidence can help you:
Catch self critical thoughts earlier before they spiral into overthinking
Speak up for yourself without anxiously replaying the conversation afterward
Trust yourself to make decisions without needing reassurance from others
Be able to tolerate making mistakes without turning on yourself
Feel more comfortable being authentically you around others without chameleoning into what you think others want you to be
Treat and speak to yourself with the same kindness you give to everyone else
Have more energy for your day to day instead using it all to manage anxiety
Stop measuring your worth based on how others respond to you
Imagine trusting you’re doing a good job without having to check with someone else first.
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Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself - your ability to notice and accept your strengths, and how steady your sense of worth feels during struggles or times of imperfection.
When your self esteem is stable, that means you can feel confident - or at the minimum okay - about yourself no matter what life throws your way. For example, making a mistake, someone is doing “better” than you, or someone putting you down are all times that test the stability of your self esteem.
When it’s less stable, your confidence can change more easily depending on what’s happening. You might:
Compare yourself to others - seeing yourself in the negative light or criticizing someone else so you feel better about yourself
Focus mostly on the things you’re doing wrong
Have a hard time knowing your strengths or accepting compliments from others
Feel like your worth depends on if people like you or if you do a “good job” at something
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How you think about and speak to yourself directly impacts how you experience your life.
The brain pays attention to the patterns you reinforce, and shapes your actions accordingly.
If you’re constantly holding yourself back from taking risks or criticizing yourself, your mind will notice. It’ll look for ways to reinforce staying small and second guess yourself because it thinks this is what you need to do to stay safe.
But when you start to relate to yourself differently - showing up authentically, speaking to yourself supportively - your brain will instead notice new possibilities. Instead of shrinking, your life will start to expand.
As your self esteem grows, your life starts to change in beautiful ways.
Self esteem changes what you allow yourself to go after:
It becomes easier to recognize who is healthy for you - and who isn’t
You take more risks and open yourself up to growth and new opportunities
Life feels less like an unpredictable rollercoaster and more like something you can handle, no matter what comes your way
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While everyone’s different, most people start to get tools and gain insight within the first few weeks.
This might look like:
Becoming more aware of small wins in your day you’d normally overlook - like moments you took a hard step or handled something better than you expected
Noticing anxious or self critical thoughts earlier before they’ve already escalated and overwhelmed you
Having at least one grounding tool to use when you feel stuck in your head or in an emotion
Longer-term change happens over time as we build more patterns and skills that will actually stick. We’ll be actually rewiring how your brain and nervous system work!
Because of that level of shifting, more lasting change can sometimes take a few months to a year. But this is the good stuff; the change that lets you graduate therapy and feel good that you started this work in the first place.
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As someone who has struggled with self-esteem myself, I won’t only be operating from a place of theory but from a place of genuine understanding.
I know what it’s like to feel like there’s something wrong with you, like everyone else has the answers on how to do things “right”. I also understand the pull to put on a mask and just try to fit in, because being yourself and risking getting rejected for that can be so scary.
But I’ve also experienced what it looks like on the other side of that.
This work is about creating a way of living that actually fits how you’re wired - not trying to change who you are to be like someone else, but learning how to fully be you.
It’s possible to feel more comfortable being your authentic self without adjusting who you are to fit in. You can start to feel accepted, not just tolerated, by both yourself and the people in your life.
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Starting therapy can feel like a really big step, especially if you’re used to figuring things out on your own. So truly, big props for even being here!
The first step is to schedule a free, 15 minute, no pressure consultation. We’ll talk through what you’ve been struggling with, how I can support you in reaching your goals, and see if working together feels like a good fit.
If it does, we’ll schedule your first session - usually one or two weeks from then. You’ll get all the forms ahead of time, along with a calendar invite and session link.
All you have to do from there is show up! No preparation needed, no agenda you have to come up with, just hop on and we’ll start working towards your goals.
faqs
Commonly Asked Questions about Self-Esteem Therapy
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