How to Set Therapy Goals—Even If You’re Not Sure Where to Start

By a Trauma Informed Therapist in Los Angeles

One of the first things I often ask clients is: What are you hoping to get out of therapy?

For many adults seeking support—especially those navigating complex trauma, burnout, or identity overwhelm—this can feel like a hard question to answer. You may feel disconnected, emotionally exhausted, or unsure what’s even wrong. And yet, something inside you knows: it’s time for change.

Whether you’re starting complex PTSD therapy in California, looking for support with emotional regulation, or just hoping to feel more like yourself again, having therapy goals can help give your healing process direction.

But what if you’re not sure what your goals are yet? That’s actually a great place to begin.

What Are Therapy Goals and Why Do They Matter?

Therapy goals are the areas of focus that help guide your work in session. They can be concrete—like reducing panic attacks—or more exploratory, like understanding how your past still lives in your body and relationships today.

Some examples of therapy goals might include:

• Learning to regulate emotional overwhelm

• Healing from relational or developmental trauma

• Building a stronger connection to your own needs and voice

• Understanding how neurodivergence shapes your experience in the world

• Reducing shame and self-blame after years of people-pleasing or masking

As a trauma informed therapist in Los Angeles who works primarily with adults navigating complex trauma and neurodivergence, I see goals as flexible, collaborative tools—not checkboxes. We revisit them together, adjust as needed, and let your process guide the pace.

How to Discover Your Therapy Goals (When Everything Feels Foggy)

If you’re not exactly sure what your therapy goals are, that’s okay. In fact, people often start therapy feeling lost, numb, or stuck, especially those dealing with complex PTSD or long-term emotional invalidation. Your job isn’t to come in with answers. It’s to come in with honesty about how things feel right now.

Here are three ways to begin uncovering what you might want from therapy:

1. Reflect on how you’re showing up in your life

Where are you acting in ways that don’t align with who you want to be? Do you shut down in conflict? Struggle to express emotion? Avoid connection altogether? These patterns often point to goals around boundaries, emotional expression, and nervous system regulation.

2. Ask yourself what feels unsustainable

What parts of your current life feel exhausting or unlivable? Is it your relationship dynamic, your inability to rest, the pressure to perform, or the constant mental noise? These can all be starting points for therapy for complex trauma in adults.

3. Consider what you want to understand more deeply

Are there parts of yourself or your history that feel confusing or unresolved? Do you suspect childhood trauma, undiagnosed neurodivergence, or attachment wounds are playing a role in your present-day struggles? These insight-based goals are core to complex PTSD therapy.

“I Don’t Know What I Want From Therapy”—Is That a Goal Too?

Yes—absolutely.

Many people seeking therapy for complex trauma in California come in knowing something isn’t right, but unsure what exactly needs to change. When you’ve spent years in survival mode, shaped by trauma, marginalization, or constant hypervigilance, clarity can be hard to come by.

Naming the confusion can be your first goal. You and your therapist can then collaborate to explore what’s underneath the fog and begin shaping direction together. You don’t need to do that alone.

How Do You Know If You’re Making Progress?

Progress in trauma therapy is often nonlinear. It might not show up in big, dramatic ways but in subtle shifts that signal nervous system regulation, self-trust, and emotional growth.

Some ways to track progress include:

• Check-ins every few sessions to reflect on how things are shifting (or not)

• Simple assessment tools for anxiety, depression, or trauma symptoms

• Co-created, realistic goals, like: “Notice and name when I’m dissociating,” or “Practice saying no without over-explaining at least once a week”

In neurodiversity affirming therapy, progress may also look like unmasking, feeling safer in your body, or finally letting yourself rest without guilt. These are powerful milestones even if they’re hard to quantify.

Do Therapy Goals Change Over Time?

Always.

Most people come in with one goal like “I want to stop having panic attacks” and realize over time that deeper work is calling. That panic, for example, might be linked to childhood neglect, a history of emotional parentification, or trauma stored in the body.

As your awareness grows, your goals evolve. This is especially true in complex PTSD therapy, where the healing journey often moves from symptom management to root healing.

Finding a Therapist Who Aligns With Your Goals

If you're looking for someone to support your healing, search for therapists who:

• Use language that reflects your lived experience

• Name specialties that match your needs (e.g., therapy for complex trauma for adults, neurodiversity affirming therapy)

• Show depth, not just a laundry list of keywords

For trauma survivors, it’s especially important to work with someone who is trauma-informed; someone who understands the nervous system, believes your story, and respects your pacing. If you’re based in California, working with someone who specializes in complex PTSD therapy in California (even virtually) can make a huge difference in the depth of support you receive.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need perfect words or a clear roadmap to start therapy. You just need a desire for something to feel different. Your therapy goals will emerge, shift, and expand as you grow. And you never have to navigate them alone.

Looking for trauma-informed therapy in California?
I offer virtual therapy for adults navigating complex trauma, relational wounds, and neurodivergence. My approach is affirming, collaborative, and deeply rooted in nervous system awareness.

If you're ready to start, or still unsure where to begin, I’d love to support you. Book a free consultation call today!